Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Tragedy of Verizon

[ACT I]
[5 minutes of IVR hell]

YANG: "Hello Verizon? I just moved from California to Maryland. I would like to transfer my account and keep my email address."
VERIZON:"I'm sorry, Maryland and California are 2 completely different accounts. You'll have to cancel your California account and start your new Maryland account, and then call IT in a week for them to transfer your email address."
YANG:"Okay."

[ACT II]
[15 minutes of IVR hell, gets connected to some poor IT guy in India]

YANG: "Hello Verizon? I would like to transfer my email address from my now-defunct account in California to my new account in Maryland. oh by the way, the service that your computer says is online is not; I can't get a dial tone or get online."
VERIZION: "I'm sorry, we can't transfer your email address if you cancel your previous account. Your old email address is gone forever."
YANG: "Fuck you." *

*Okay, I didn't really say that, but I WAS PISSED.

[ACT III]

YANG: "Hello Comcast? Do you guys offer cable modem and phone?"
COMCAST: "Yes, we can install this Saturday."
YANG: "Great. Thanks."

[ACT IV]
[45 minutes of IVR hell, Yang cusses at the phone with every invective known in the English language]

YANG: "Hello Verizon? I would like to cancel all my services."

[END]

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

prediction: unfortunately, I don't think this is the end of your troubles.

here's just one thing you may want to think about, if comcast is the only cable option there, and you want cable over satellite.

You may want to think of bundling your cable. which means, you should get your new TV, _before_ they come in, otherwise, they'll have to come in again.

but really,

Anonymous said...

but really.. this may not be the end of your troubles.

Yang said...

Which is why I need to go to BestBuys Friday night....

Yang said...

Oops, Comcast guy will be here Saturday afternoon, so I have to get a TV by then....

Anonymous said...

I would suggest your nearest Costco, rather than Best Buy.
1. it'll likely be less expensive.
2. you'll support a CEO who only makes 20x more than the lowest paid employees, versus a company that was (or is) under investigation for bait-and-switch tactics, by using showing higher prices on the in-store internet, versus on its own website.

Anonymous said...

Dang that sucks. Customer service and technology just don't mix. Too bad about losing your email address.

22as1 said...

I never understood why people use email accounts from their broadband provider.

Perhaps it's time for a gmail account?

Chuck said...

I would think Yang already have a gmail account since I sign into this blog using my gmail account.

Anonymous said...

Verizon....

BWAAAAAHHHH Ha ha ha...

http://www.youtube.com/v/lCJ3Oz5JVKs&hl=en&fs=1